Double Dagree

Nothing tickles me more than people who claim to be uber-educated when they clearly are not. Take our next contestant, for example:


IM SO TIRED OF BEING LIED TO AND NOT TREETED RIGHT .
EVERY TIME I THINK IV FOUND SOME ONE , ITS NOT .
IF A PERSON WANT'S SOME ONE TO TREET THEM WITH RESPECT
THEN THEY HAVE TO GIVE THE SAME THING BACK . THEY SAY
THEY WANT ME TO PUT THEM FIRST BUT THEY DON'T PUT ME
FIRST . THEY LET THERE FAMILY MEMBERS ROOL OVER EVERY
THING .

ME I PUT MY MATE FIRST AND NOT LAST . I DO NOT LET MY FAMILY
MEMBERS ROOL OVER EVERY THING . IF YOU DO THAT YOU DON'T
REALY WANT ANY ONE IN YOUR LIFE . ME I LIKE TO GIVE MY MATE
A DOZEN RED ROSSES FOR NO REASON AT ALL . I DONT GIVE THEM
TO HIDE SOME THING . I GIVE THEM TO HER FOR REAL LOVE . THAT
IS HOWA PERSON SHOULD BE . NEVER LET A FAMILY MEMBER ROOL .
I ALSO LIKE TO TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER OR JUST CUDDLE UP .
WEALTH WILL NEVER BY HAPPINES . REAL LOVE COMES FROM THE
HEART AND NOT THE WALLET . I WILL NOT GO TO OTHER SIGHTS TO
GET INFORMATION ON YOU . I ALWAYS HAVE TO PAY A FEE TO GET
IN THERE . YOU MUST SEND ME YOUR AGE AND INFORMATION ON
YOUR SELF . IF YOU DONT THEN YOUR NOT HONEST . IV FOUND OUT
THAT FROM JUST ABOUT EVERY ONE ON THIS SIGHT .

I LOVE TO WATCH THE GAITHERS ON TV AND EVEN GO TO THERE
APERIENCE . I LIKE GOING TO CHURCH AND GOING OUT TO FISH
OR CAMPING . I CAN'T HARDLY DO THAT ANY MORE . I DO NOT
BELIEVE IN ANY KIND OF ABUSE . NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT TO RAISE
THERE HAND TO ANY ONE .

IM 67 YEARS OLD AND I DO NOT DRINK OR SMOKE . I WEIGH 160 LB
IM WHITE AND IV BEEN A MECHANIK FOR OVER 50 YEARS . I ALSO
STAND 5FT 6 INCH TALL WITH A FULL HEAD OF HAIR . I LIKE
TO TREET PEOPLE LIKE I WANT TO BE TREETED . SO IF YOU ARE
ENTERESTED THEN RIGHT ME . BUT IF YOU CAN'T TELL THE TRUTH
THEN DON'T RIGHT ME . I WILOL NOT CONDONE ANY SCAMMERS .
WHEN YOU THINK SOME ONE DON'T SEE IT THINK AGAIN . I ALSO
HAVE TWO COLLEAGE DAGREES . NO ONE IS PERFECT . ONLY GOD
I WILL SEND YOU A PITCHER IF YOU SEND ME SOME .
AND JESUS IS . WE ALL MAKE MISTACKS .


So, let me get this straight....you have TWO college degrees, but you can't spell 'degree' or 'college' or 'treat' or even 'picture' correctly?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Really? You REALLY thought that you would be able to pull that off? That's hilarious.

Here's a hint to all you men who make things up to put on their dating ad profile: if you're going to lie, at least make it a believable lie. Don't come out with something so totally and utterly outrageous that it's obviously a lie. Women don't like that.

'2 dagrees', indeed.